How do couples deal with anger in marriage especially coming from the wife?

what can one do when the wife gets too angry so fast and even become violent such that discussing marriage issues become very hard. The husband does not and cannot fight her back. Secondly, she makes statements that hurt so much but doesnt even realize it and feels that the husband as a man should be able to handle such harsh statements and not her. Thirdly,she makes more money than the husband and therefore feels that the husband is using her.How do couples deal with anger in marriage especially coming from the wife?
That ';woman'; is de-masculinating her husband and doesn't deserve to married in the first place. I think what she needs is an emotional punching bag and her husband has become one. If I were the man.....I would leave.....period. There are plenty of women out there who would appreciate a husband that cares. The woman described here doesn't need anyone, apparently. She will die a lonely old woman at the rate she is going. I feel sorry for her.....but I feel more sorry for the husband.How do couples deal with anger in marriage especially coming from the wife?
After all answers to your question are said and done, ultimately the decision is yours. However, make it carefully. Go back in your mind to when you fell in love with her. Remember what drew you to each other. After being married for 25 years, I've found I don't control how my wife behaves, but I do control how I react. As hard as it might be sometimes, I remember the vow I took and the fact that I love her regardless of how she might treat me sometimes, ';for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part';. I remember earlier in our marriage, the worse she treated me the better I treated her, not out of spite but remembering my commitment to love her. I truly don't deserve my wife even when I feel she treats me bad sometimes. My vow never said ';I'll love you only until you stop treating me good';. Marriage is work. You have to talk through things and one of the hardest parts, especially as a man, is that you can't expect your partner to change anything until you yourself show a willingness and work on changing some things yourself. If you want it to work, you'll give until it hurts and then, give some more. Remember true love is not about what you receive but about what you give. That's why so many marriages fail nowadays, divorce rates are so high, and so many children grow up without both a mother and a father working together to give them love and grow them and teaching them about commitment and how to make a marriage work. Commitment ends up meaning nothing. Ultimately the choice is yours. I hope you make the right one.
get out of the marriage... this is NOT marriage. you understand marriage is love, understanding, respect, listening... all of these things are not in your marriage, so what are you waiting for? for her to change? well... she hasn't so far, and I guarantee she won't any time soon. if she doesn't recognize her own actions and how they destroy you, then you telling her won't make her see it. you can't control her, but you can control your environment... this is abuse and you need to leave.
I'd say the husband needs to find a new wife who is actually worth the air he breathes...
Let's examine this for a second, behind anger is frustration, deep seeded, unresolved issues. When your wife becomes spitting angry, she is really saying this...You are not hearing me, I need to make you see where I am coming from. That isn't anger, its frustration talking. Her comments come off as angry, when in fact she is telling you, we have issues that need to be resolved. Her anger comes in if she feels she is not being taken seriously, or is getting a half answer, condescended, when all she really wants is for both of you to sit and discuss your issues, or hers.


The book, the ';dance of anger'; is one you need to read. It talks about how to relate to your spouse, girlfriend, so you don't get into a vicious cycle of arguing, rather you end up solving your issues together peacefully.


The money issue is also one of her feeling her oats. Money is independence to a woman, married or not, and the perceived threat of losing that scares her. Let her know you understand what that means to her, that you are not using her, and try having three accounts, one that is all hers, one that is both of yours, and one for either of you should you need it, making notes of what gets taken out, and when, what for, ETC. That will make her feel more at ease, show you are sincere. Good Luck.