Friday, January 15, 2010

How do couples with differnt hiv statues deal with the anxiety of sex?

My girlfriend recently found out she is hiv positive. I have been tested many times and am negative. I want to have sex with her but everytime I do i get real bad anxiety. How do couples deal with the stress and anxiety of having sex if one person is hiv positive?How do couples with differnt hiv statues deal with the anxiety of sex?
I would highly recommend that you talk openly with your partner about your fears. Reassure your partner that this is something you want to work through.





I always recommend speaking with a knowledgable therapist if you can afford it.





If she is on meds (which she may not be if she was recently diagnosed) and her viral load is undetectable, the risks as mentioned above) are quite low assuming you are also using protection.





If you are not using protection, then there is nothing guaranteeing your safety, regardless of viral load (as it is not a perfect indicator of infectiousness through genital fluids--semen, vaginal fluids)





You could try looking on line for HIV AND ';serodivergent couples'; or ';serodiscordant couples'; or ';magnetic couples'; all of which refer to couples in which one person is HIV+ and the other HIV-. There are MANY of these types of couples who have been together for years and are very happy. It is possible with love, compassion, and safer sex





There may be some good resources online.





Hope this helpsHow do couples with differnt hiv statues deal with the anxiety of sex?
First of all, are you using adequate protection?





Second, does your girlfriend know her viral load? This is a measure of how much HIV is circulating in her blood and it is an indication of how ';infectious'; she is (ie. how likely she is to pass on the virus).





Many people taking drugs to treat their HIV can keep their viral load very low. Although this does not entirely eliminate the risk of infecting other people, it does reduce the risk significantly.





I hope that helps!
wow, you're really brave. i couldn't do that i think.

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